This was the case for Lyneta, who says that her first marriage, which came about in the short span of 10 months, ended because of domestic violence. "I mistook possessiveness for love (because my family of origin wasn't healthy either), and ignored all the red flags pointing to abuse," she told me.
"I think if there had been more time, I might have recognized the volatile nature of his control over me.
For the first month, I found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. For those of you who have found yourself in murky grey areas of dating, here are some reasons as to why you should put all of your chips in. My past two relationships prior to this one were what I used to refer to as “slow burns.” We would see each other once or twice a week, text sporadically, and sort of look down at the floor and mumble when people asked what was going on between us. Yes, you don’t want to rush into anything when it comes to relationships, but not knowing whether or not your partner wants the same thing as you from the relationship can drive anyone insane.
Being vulnerable is tough, and I feel like that is putting it lightly.
Three months after that we were engaged, and another three months down the road, we said our vows on a rainy September afternoon.
Nearly eight years later, we're happily married with four children. Other times, however, a fast-moving relationship is more like a runaway train headed for a washed-out bridge.
There are no fast and hard rules for how quickly a relationship should move.
It depends upon a number of factors: how old the respective participants are, their previous experiences, their present situations, their family backgrounds, their general outlook on life, etc.